In this episode
We’ll talk about what happens when you take your existing relationship online. What kinds of pitfalls and precautions should you take? By the end of this episode you’ll learn:
- When to get public on Social Media
- The pro’s and cons of social dating.
- Googling your partner, good idea, or bad idea?
(right click, then click “Save Link As…”)
Social media has us more connected than ever, but is this a good thing? When it comes to dating and relationships, we can find out more about our dates, potential partners and lovers than we ever thought possible. So what are the rules, the boundaries, and the best ways to keep a little mystery in your dating and love life without sacrificing your digital connection?
How soon is too soon for writing mushy statuses about the person you’re dating/in a relationship with?
There’s always that one girl who must post vomit-inducing updates about her “SsSsEXXXY BOO!!!1.” Don’t be that girl.
“Although Facebook is known as a social network, where Linkedin is well known as a business networking site, the digital lines between the two have become blurry,” Spira tells us. “Ask yourself, is this something I’d want my parents or boss to see before you post it? In other words, if you won’t kiss-and-tell, then don’t post-and-tell.”
Lauren Suvall: Dating and the Impact of Social Media
Is social media eliminating elements of intrigue and mystery? And what if we see particular photos, status updates, tweets, or blog posts that negatively affect our view of the individual? Are we judging their online activity too quickly?
The Oops – Between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. we live in an age of maximum exposure. Once it’s online, it’s there forever. You need to be mindful when being photographed at the party wearing just your tats and drinking straight out of a bottle of Whipped Cream vodka. That may not be something you’d want to share with future paramours or potential employers. My policy when dealing in the online space is if you can’t keep it positive; don’t put it out there.
Should you Google Your Dates?
Samantha Henig: Why You Should Stop Googling Your Dates
You turn into a comparison shopper – the treasure trove of data available via social media sites has encouraged people to treat their dating options like a shopping experience.
Julie Spira: Googling Your Dates — Can It Backfire?
[A recent] Glamour article cites a recent Match.com survey, which said that 38% of women would cancel a first date because of something they found out about him online and 48% of women research their dates on Facebook.
- “Every piece of positive information you learn online about someone will probably drive you toward having sex sooner,”
- “Part of it is that pre-dating makes you feel like you already “know” each other by the first date.”
I thought about it last night, thought about it long and hard, as I poised my mouse over the search button. I was trying to decide whether I was going to do it or not. I’ve been seeing someone for a week or two. We met at the dogpark. Things were going uncharacteristically good — so good I was suspicious.
Something special happens to your ability to trust over time. You start out at 20, young and hopeful and full of the ability to believe. Through no fault other than experience (not all men are dogs, but as people we tend to lie a lot) if you end up 35 and single, expect to have depleted the trust bank to the point you’ll be living paycheck to paycheck. I work hard to balance that with not challenging people too much to love me. Its a highwire act, as many of you probably know.
Google their Username – If you met your date online, try Googling their username. A satisfying username takes forever to come up with, so a lot of people have a username that they use for everything from online dating sites to comment boards to Yelp to basically anything they don’t want to have show up on a Google Search of their name. (HA, as if that would stop you from finding it.)
HuffPost Divorce: 7 Nightmarish Anecdotes That Prove It’s Worth Googling Your Dates
If you have a tip to add that we missed in the show, call 508-444-2003 and leave your tip/comment/question for us to answer on the show!
(right click, then click “Save Link As…”)